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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27512176">Soldier On</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutosrose/pseuds/plutosrose'>plutosrose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Scene, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Established Relationship, M/M, light ptsd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 04:13:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27512176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutosrose/pseuds/plutosrose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve notices that Bucky's arm is causing him pain and gets Tony to work on it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882291</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Soldier On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once Bucky had been cleared to leave the medical bay and move in with him, it had become readily apparent to Steve that Bucky was in constant physical pain. He never complained about it--Bucky Barnes had always been good about soldiering on no matter what--but it was easy to tell. He carried himself stiffly, constantly readjusting his posture, he was almost always exhausted, and Steve caught him several times a day massaging his shoulder muscles.</p><p>It took about a week before Steve had broached the subject of letting Tony look at his arm as gently as he possibly could. Tony had been excruciatingly clear about needing more time to be comfortable around Bucky, and likewise, while Bucky hadn’t made his feelings in regard to Tony clear, the pained expression on his face had said enough.</p><p>But, unfortunately, Tony was also the best-equipped person Steve knew for the job.</p><p>“Maybe he can figure out a way to make it less painful,” Steve had said, and after that, Bucky had hesitantly agreed to letting Tony examine his arm. (And Tony, for his part, had warmed up to the idea after Steve had pitched it as an intellectual challenge.)</p><p>But now that Bucky was laying on a table in Tony’s lab, wrists cuffed just in case (Steve couldn’t stop himself from wrinkling his nose every time he looked at the restraints, he had never been subtle about his feelings a day in his entire life), and shaking like a leaf, Steve was beginning to feel a lot less confident in this plan.</p><p>“Okay,” Tony clapped his hands together. “I took some schematics of your arm and ran them by Bruce. Not that I had to or needed to, but...this is something of a two-man, two-arm job.”</p><p>Steve blinked at him. Bucky just stared at him. Tony took a deep breath and looked between the two of them, before letting out a sigh. “Okay, tough crowd. So for today, I just thought that we would start by removing the plates. It doesn’t look like there’s any explosives or poisons that we could set off--”</p><p>Steve turned a little green at the mention of explosives or poisons.</p><p>“--but if we’re able to get the plates off, I might be able to deactivate the arm, and best case, remove it entirely and replace it with something that’s a little less T-1000.”</p><p>Tony waited several seconds to see if either Steve or Bucky would get the reference, and when he showed no signs of recognition, he let out a sigh. “JARVIS, please send the Terminator movies to Steve’s apartment?”</p><p>A voice spoke from above. “Yes, sir.”</p><p>“Anyway, so when I was looking over the schematics with Bruce, this plate near your elbow looked as though it had the least amount of wiring. We--I--was thinking that it might be the best place to start,” Tony explained, waving the pliers in his hands in a way that made Steve’s stomach turn.</p><p>Bucky, for his part, had squeezed his eyes shut and was desperately trying to steady his breathing.</p><p>The plates of Bucky’s arm whirred and tried desperately to reset themselves as Tony started working at the plate on his elbow with the pliers. Steve remembered that sound too well--Bucky’s arm had adjusted and readjusted itself several times during the fight on the bridge. He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep, steadying breath, and squeezed Bucky’s hand. He wasn’t sure if he was comforting himself, Bucky, or both of them.</p><p>“Steve,” Bucky gasped, and when Tony started to work on the wiring with a screwdriver, his breathing grew more ragged and harsh. His body jolted involuntarily and his eyes flew open.“Steve!”</p><p>Steve opened his eyes too and shooed Tony away, who took several steps back and dropped the screwdriver.</p><p>“I’m...I’m going to go back to my office for a little bit,” Tony said, looking between Steve and Bucky for a moment, before dashing out the door as quickly as he could.</p><p>Steve unbuckled the restraints and gathered Bucky into his arms, rubbing his back.</p><p>“It wasn’t worth it,” Steve murmured, as Bucky buried his face in the crook on his neck and dug his fingers into his shirt. He reached out cautiously and rubbed his back. “I’m so sorry, if I had known that would happen, I never would have recommended that you see Tony.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Bucky murmured wetly into his shirt. “It’s my fault, anyway. I didn’t--”</p><p>Steve drew back a little and shook his head. “It’s not your fault. None of this was your fault, Buck.” He tried to give him a comforting smile, but it was hard when the image of Bucky falling, the faded image of Bucky with his eyes closed in cryostasis--all of it was coming to the forefront of his mind quickly and violently. He shuddered and pulled Bucky closer.</p><p>“I remembered something when he did that. Or...a feeling. I don’t know,” Bucky muttered in the same careful way that always made Steve’s heart clench in his chest. “I didn’t know that would happen. I just...I just remember being scared. Really scared.”</p><p>Steve drew back and ran his hand along Bucky’s jaw. “It’s okay. You’re here. You don’t have to be scared. We just...we’ll figure it out. So that doesn’t happen next time.”</p><p>Sam had told him--more than once, in fact--that he couldn’t prevent Bucky from having flashbacks or reacting to those flashbacks the way that his body told him to. (“His brain is healing, Steve. You can’t make it heal faster just because you want it to.”)</p><p>But that hadn’t stopped him from wanting Bucky to heal as fast as possible. The guilt that he’d carried with him after Bucky had died had bloomed in his chest all over again when he’d discovered he was still alive. He had no right, he thought, to do any less for Bucky than Bucky would have for him.</p><p>“I can hear you thinking,” Bucky narrowed his eyes, and for a moment, Steve was worried that he could actually hear him thinking.</p><p>“I’m not thinking.”</p><p>Bucky let out an exhausted laugh, before he looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “I feel like you’ve said that before.” Both Bruce and Sam had assured him that Bucky was making good progress on regaining his memories, but every time he phrased a memory like a ‘feeling,’ it felt like a kick in the gut.</p><p>Steve ran his hands up and down Bucky’s sides. “I just want to help, you know. Whatever you need, Buck, okay? I won’t push you to do something you’re not ready for again.”</p><p>Bucky shook his head. “It’s not that I wasn’t ready. I just...I don’t know.”</p><p>Steve nodded. Sam would have been able to parse this out better, he thought. He was better with words and better at understanding other people’s feelings. “Okay...that’s...okay,” he murmured, and although he felt a little bit useless, a little bit like he was babbling, maybe it was better to let Bucky take the lead.</p><p>“Yeah?” Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. “I feel like it’s too much trouble. Who knows if I’ll feel that way if someone looks at the arm again? But I--”</p><p>He paused for a moment, licking his lips. He furrowed his brow the same way that he did when he wanted to say something, and he wasn’t sure what Steve would think. “--I want it off, Steve.” He wiped at his eyes and looked away, the same way he did so many years ago when he was doing his damnedest to have a conversation that he didn’t want to have.</p><p>For a moment, Steve didn’t know what to do or say. Instead, he pulled Bucky back into his arms, and pressed a kiss against his hair. “I love you so much, Buck. I’ll do whatever you need.”</p><p>He could feel Bucky shaking in his arms again. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. Anything. It’s never too much.” And that was the God’s honest truth, he’d walked into hell for Bucky Barnes without a second thought, and he would do it every day for the rest of his life if that’s what it took.</p><p>-</p><p>Six months later, as King T’Challa of Wakanda stood beside his sister, Princess Shuri in a press conference announcing the existence of their country to the entire world, Bucky watched with rapt attention. He was glued to the television quite a bit these days, and as long as nothing about the Winter Soldier was mentioned, Steve was happy to watch as many programs with him as he wanted.</p><p>“We’ve learned that the Princess is an engineering genius, one that almost certainly rivals Tony Stark,” one of the anchors--a woman with sleek blonde hair and a sharp pants suit--said to the audience.</p><p>They both looked at each other.</p><p>“We can’t go to Wakanda, can we?” Bucky asked.</p><p>“We absolutely can,” Steve nodded, hopping up off the couch to walk back to their room.</p><p>Bucky leaned over the couch. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Going to pack, Buck!”</p><p>As Steve frantically started googling information about Wakanda’s climate on his phone, he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Not a lot had changed in the future, he thought. He’d still do anything for Bucky.</p>
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